1. |
sad gay lad
01:58
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happy feast of st. andrew's
happy feast of st. andrew's
you're driving
and i let you do things that
no true scotsman would have done to him
no true scotsman
no true man
no man at all
i guess what makes me
um
i dunno
i've got this 99 cent coffee
and i am something other than a man now i guess
there's no going back probably
i am not a man
no true scotsman, guy
and we're driving and the road is
pretty much empty
give or take
and we got past the pasture and the cows are just inside
they're not gone i swear they're just inside
alright?
i look at you as if asking for some sign of reassurance they're inside but no
you don't care about cattle anymore
this is how it starts
this is
this is how it starts
this is how it starts
alright
just drive
alright
thanks
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2. |
creature
01:56
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one ! two !
one two three four!
we are
the american cryptids!
especially me!
i got hooves
and wings
and i scream
they call me the midwest devil
i use echolocation
and i skulk around the woods
i'm gonna take your kids, i'm gonna snatch 'em
if i can't talk myself out of thinking of myself as a creature
why not buy into it, why not just live it
if i don't think
i'm anything but a swamp thing
why not roll with it, why not embrace it
something terrible being born in a swamp
something terrible being born in a swamp
something terrible being born in a swamp
in the USA
i prefer my cryptids
make in the USA
none of that outsourced shit
no way dude
no way
i'm a beast
and i go to the bodega
and i get myself some fucking hot fries
i am a true american
i got scales and
teeth that are sharp
and i am a true american
my food is processed 60 times over
before it enters my
gaping maw !!!!! aah
i am a fucking creature
i love it i love it i love it
my skin is like
all green and patchy and shit and
goddamn !!!! yeah !!! woo yeah
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3. |
stella song
02:37
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we're walking
we're walking to the library
all full of rice from the cheap restaurant
and it feels like 2012 again
and you held my hand outside the gym locker room
we were happy and young when obama won reelection
that was fun, that was a good time
and we played poker for very low stakes at girl scout camp
and i don't see you very often
but i still love you! and you're very important to me
and you formed who i am
and a lot has happened and a whole lot has happened
and your specific diaspora is super huge, dude
outta sight
out in space
just as a side note
i, like
who won the space race in the cold war?
a lot of people say it was inconclusive
but i feel like i've never heard a soviet perspective
i feel like the obvious answer is that the soviets won
but
i mean
what does it mean to win anyway
structure?? im so over it
um
no
i miss you, i want to give you
like
a bronze sculpture of belka and strelka playin in the yard
a gold standard sculpture of laika
gold standard is out standard
overthrow your governments
i love you
we should read all the books about iran
and just have fun, man
like
um
i'd like to think
the things we say
would make ellen page proud
really, truly
and
with this perspective, lookin back
we're pretty good
we'll be ok
we've been ok before
we'll continue to be ok
we are young
and we are good
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4. |
ten napkin glenn
00:45
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they call me
they call me
ten napkin glenn
cause that's how many napkins i use when i go to wendy's
they see me comin' and they know
"oh shit, restock the napkins"
i am a real burden on their business
a real drag, a real
shootin' up the supply costs
and like
the regional manager's like
"what the hell you guys, why are you spending so much on napkins"
batten down the hatches !
here comes
ten napkin glenn
gettin' his fuckin small cup of chili
god!!!! hunker down
wahh wahh nuclear alarm
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5. |
art class with my jesus
02:39
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jesus loves my underfunded grade school art program
jesus loves my underfunded grade school art program
he loves it
he loves
my construction paper mosaic
jesus loves my
fuckin like
yarn weaving we did that took forever and i don't think we ever finished it
but it was nice
weaving & beading like ancient women or whatever
jesus loves my underfunded grade school art program
and the
music class textbooks
with the kids in solid-color shirts having like
fun
municipal fun
he loves it all
um
jesus loves my cinderblock wall collaborative mural we did
with like
i dunno, temper paint
yknow! the big things of temper paint, in like, the colors!
jesus loves my xylophone
and the, like,
percussion instruments in a box in the closet
(em: boomwhackers?)
yeah those yeah yeah
oh, and jesus loves
jesus loves my construction paper lion in the month of march
and like, a little lamb on a paper plate with cotton balls next to it
jesus loves my pointilism with q-tips
and i know this
jesus loves my underfunded grade school art program
this i know for the scripture implies so
and he is brown
and trans
and he is queer
and he is a public school system employee who is trying his best to have a good time and be a force for good
and i love him
and
make more art with your jesus if you are so inclined !!!! do it do it do it dude
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6. |
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in my room, and so like
i'm lying there
prostrate up to heaven
PROSTATE up to heaven
there's some wordplay for ya
yeah
wooooo
woo woo woo
i love that like. nascar yell like
woo woo woo
i'm gonna HOWL
YEAH
um. fuckin like
own that like, kentucky heritage or whatever
actually yknow what like
the sullen, shoulder-slumpy lil appalachian lil boy
like
slump-- slump's a word? ok, yeah
here's what it is:
it's
the yellow-bellied lil brother
that's me
like
kicking shit around
like, outside
scuffing your shoes while you walk and
kickin shit around
just
kickin shit around
growing up and being prostrate to some sort of
buff god
some sort of
buff hot lumber-worker god
yeah. mhm. mmmhmm. nice
fuckin like
cider or whatever
really good. yellow bellied lil' brother
very, VERY very yellow
if you know what i mean. if you know what i mean
good, yeah
very good, very good
i like it. good concept
thank you all, team, great work this quarter, yup, uh-uh
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7. |
nation w/o newt gingrich
01:51
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there's an island i love very very much
an island with no snakes
and i love it a whole whole lot
but not in a nationalistic way
it is the promise land that they sing about with the bald guy at church
c'mon children don't you get a-weary
it's a place where
there's actually probably like
a very high population density of bald dudes, cool bald dudes
i love bald dudes. one time i saw a gay bald dude lick another gay bald dude's head
just like, bleh
it was really nice, like
you don't think about that but like
it was really nice to see
like nice! yeah!
there's an island that i love very very very much
and it's full of the people that i love very much
and we are connected by
wires and chips and rgb screens and such
very very much
yeah dude its cool
i made an ice sculpture of alan turing
and it stays cold forever and ever cause i want it to
yeah
and my friend roswell says it best
2017's gonna be the year
when we all get ripped as fuck and destroy facists
alright
that's good
mhm
cool
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dyke on ice Cincinnati, Ohio
queer and fun! guaranteed
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