1. |
sugar mom
01:22
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ooo
sugar mom where are you
what kind of car do you drive
i gotta roll up to class in a buick or a cadillac, nothing less
i dont actually know car names
as long as you have nice upholstery i'll be happy
oh my
sugar mom
ooo
sugar mom
can we go get some breakfast
maybe a pancake at some place slightly classier than ihop
cause my sugar mom
has standards slightly above the rest of the public and thats why i love her
ooo sugar mom
your name's probably KAREN
or JANE
or JANIE
or JANINE
maybe even JANICE but sugar mom i can't plan it
im gonna meet you someday and it'll just be fate and you'll
fuck me in the ass
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2. |
theater boy
01:49
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theater boy theater boy
i'm
more jealous of you than i should be
theater boy with good hair
you know that thing where you see a cute boy on tv
and you don't know if you wanna be him or if you wanna fuck him
that's how i feel about you theater boy
i want your
life
and you dotted button up shirt
but i dont wanna deal with all the money that your family has
and all the weirdly conservative southeast asian uncles that come with it
oh theater boy
thank you for giving me
a sense of gratitude about female community
cause maybe i wanna have a slender body like yours
n wear a hat like yours
and look like bambam the way that you do
but ! theater boy !!
you're a little bitch actually
you're better as an idea than as a manifestation
and theater boy
i'm so glad i'm not you, oh
i'm glad i can scream
and i'm glad about the clitoris
not specifically my own, i mean like yeah, but just the clitoris in general
theater boy i'm so glad that i can look at a tit and be like
hey
that's a good tit
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3. |
macbook laptop
02:15
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i have a macbook laptop
i wear a different scarf every day
i wear the same coverse shoes on my weird german feet
and i want to tell you that
i don't really know if there's a word for this in english
or if it's wanna be in my life
cause
i have a macbook laptop
i vote democrat for more polite imperialism in the world
because that's what my friends do
it's what my friends do
i'm obviously so talented because i go to art school
am i right ladies
oh
i'm some little skinny white boy
who gets in relationships with his older brother's friends
that love to smoke joints too obviously
that's not even good weed you're just showing off
and i don't wanna be this way
i don't wanna be 28 and halfway bald
and not have a job
and be layin in a pile of my own goddamn stink
i don't wanna have a macbook
i mean like yeah i actually totally wanna have a macbook but like
the principle of being proud of my macbook and making it into an identity is really weird
i just wanna play solitaire
that's really about it
i just want to look at the web on any device
not necessarily a macbook
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4. |
hippie beach (fuck!!!)
01:58
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i live on a hippie beach
my name is queenie
or maybe polly
and all i wanna do is smoke
all i wanna do is smoke
and read some poems that i found in a library book
in a shaky-penned handwriting
i know it's not really anything that good
but the story behind it makes it better
better than it should
i'm walkin down the street in platform shoes
i got a beach gramma look and i'm a vegan too
cause i
live on the hippie beach
where
all of the hippies be, and oh
i've never actually been to the ocean i just like to take pictures of it
and
i don't like kale that much that's my confession
to (burp) you
i don't wanna be alone for the rest of my life but it's lookin that way right now so let's just assume that'll be it for the rest of my life o yeah
everybody knows
that if you feel this way one second of your life you'll feel that way for the rest of your life
fuck you polly
fuck you hippie beach fuck you queenie
you fuckin suck i hate myself fuck you
you're the worst you are the worst you are the absolute worst
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5. |
make shitty art
01:38
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you are a girl with big brown eyes
this is just a fact i shouldn't be gettin off on
but i am cause they're so pretty
they're like big ol frying pans
ooo aa oo
here comes, uh, that's, uh, louis??
louis the dog i trust you
will you
let me talk hours about this girl with the big brown eyes
(not unlike yours lil buddy !!)
i can feel your skull
i can feel your
lil dog skull
i can feel my skull if i try hard enough
here comes a dog
oh oh oh
this is shit
shitty music
make more shitty art with your friends
make more shitty art
make more shitty are with your friends
aaa oo
this is the only way to affirm my identity as an american youth
all i do is sit around and feel sorry for myself
here comes a dog
(dog jumping sound)
no!!!!
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6. |
||||
ooo
i love sluts they are good people
helpin' out the world in their adidas tracksuits
i love sluts they are good people
lookin at you tellin you your eyelashes look good when you're havin' a bad day
i love sluts they are good people
betterin' the world in their adidas tracksuits
a three-stripe shawty has been better to me than
any religious lady at my parish with a saggy chestnut face
and
i love sluts
they're good people
ooooo lemme look at my book for some more words about sluts
i just know there are girls in bar bathrooms around the world
helpin other girls
i love the way that women help women
i love sluts
i love sluts helping sluts
i love sluts fucking sluts
and sluts giving sluts money
and making sluts dinner
for other sluts
inviting sluts to their houses
i love sluts
i love sluts
they're good people
bettering the world in their adidas tracksuits
(dog barks in agreement)
YEAH!!!!!!!
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7. |
uncle jeff
02:14
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fuck you uncle jeff & your overly short haircut
are you worried that if your hair gets longer than an inch they'll call you gay
fuck you uncle jeff
you raise your kids in a really really overbearing masculine way
fuck you uncle jeff
tryna play flag football with me
i was only like three
c'mon
shut the fuck already we get the point you're a man
fuck you uncle jeff
tell me more about how taxes are ruining your
um
pittsburgh steeler fan life
fuck off uncle jeff
with your facebook posts about not raising minimum wage
i don't really come on facebook to see this
i just came out to have a good time and look at pictures of dogs
fuck you uncle jeff
i don't really need your approval
it's taken me a long time to realize that
you can be apart from your family and still live a successfull happy life
i don't need you
in my life
uncle jeff
uncle jeff
you are really insecure about your own identity
uncle jeff sometimes i wonder if the reason you're so homophobic is that you're probably gay yourself
uncle jeff what happened in college
uncle jeff did you suck a dick
uncle jeff if you did
i hope you enjoyed it i hope it was good and consensual and fun
and everyone was sober
and uncle jeff
i just really think you shouldn't be using that to punish your children
don't live your heterosexuality vicariously through your children
uncle jeff
just go to church or whatever it is you people do
i don't know
it's not my problem
i'm signing off from you forever goodbye
see you uncle jeff bye later
bye
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8. |
your mcm
02:00
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i will occasionaly make eye contact with girls on public transit
the girls will be cute and have curly hair
the girls will be doin stuff like lookin at anime on their phones or whatever and i'll be like
hey
nice
or maybe i'll see a girl wearing an exo tshirt
y'know, exo like kpop, just if you didn't know that
but anyway
my point is
i bet these girls are straight
i bet this from the look of nervousness they get when they see me smilin' a lil
cause i look like a big dyke
and i don't wanna scare you off but jesus christ lady
jesus christ
do you think if a gay looks at you for more than 5 seconds you're gonna turn gay!!!
ohh
do you think if a gay looks at you for more than 5 seconds you're gonna turn gay!!!!
ohh
cause that's probably a good thing it's probably true but anyway
i feel so bad that you probably go home to a man
who thinks you pee out of your vagina
i feel so bad you probably go home to a man who can't find your clit
even though it's right fuckin there in front of his face
stupid idiot
stupid fuckin idiot
i feel bad for you
i feel bad for you
there's so much better lives to live but whatever
enjoy yourself with your mcm
eugh
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9. |
space babes
02:14
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i'm really cool
i'm a cool girl from outer space
from out of the stars
from another planet
it's
very far away
and very green and large
very gaseous and whatnot
whole lotta atmospheres of pressure and degrees kelvin and all kinds of other scientific things could be measured on my planet
but anyway i'm far away from it that's the point of this song
i'm travelling thru the milky way
i find a little
place called earth
i land and i see
a kpop concert
and im like "wow thats a lot of creatures and a whole lot of flesh"
i move on
i see a river
im like "wow that's pretty nice"
i move on
go to ohio
i see this really hot babe and im like
"damn she's a hot babe"
and
i go away
i go to new york
i see more hot babes all over the place
they're walkin down every street
crossin' every corner
and holy heck there are so many hot babes
in the earth
on the earth
surrounding the earth
orbiting the earth
i go to mars and theres hot babes
i go to saturn and theres hot babes
i don't even have to tell you about uranus
ha ha like a butthole
anyway
there's a lot of hot girls in space
we're here we're havin a great time
and there's
a lot of hawaiian punch
for anyone who wants it
but you don't have to drink it, it's not like, there's no pressure
there's a lot of hot babes in space with me
and join me in space with the hot babes
see you in the hot babe space
in a hot tub
floatin' in space
yea !!
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10. |
almond soap
02:42
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ohhh my god
i bought
very cool 8 dollar soap at the store
and it was
vegan and all that kinda shit
and it smelled like an almond
y'know, like chinese almond cookies
chinese almond tea
etc.
um
i don't really use it a lot
i just kinda think it looks cool
it's got almonds suspended in it
suspended in time
wish i could be
suspended in time
just sitting here in shorts when it feels good to wear shorts not too cold and not too hot
and i feel
like i like my life and i'm goin a place
i don't really know the place but i feel good about it
and i've got a boy on the internet
who will send me a pic of his buttcrack if i ask nicely
it's a nice relationship
it's a nice
moment in time
i wanna stay there
suspended, smelling almonds all my life
like settling down
only like
gayer and i don't wanna go to the army
i don't want americana in my butthole
i guess i'll get it anyway at some point
i know that i'll probably settle down
i'll be like my mom
who was spirited in college
who smoked weed in college
and partied in college
but i'll
calm the hell down
show everbody just how fake i am
and live comfortably as
an adult who votes
whatever way is most convenient for me
easiest for me
the proletariat much be in constant revolution
this shit nation will only rise
in communism
only in communism
it's the only solution
the poorest people must be in constant revolution
in order for democracy to be true
yea yea fuckin yea yea
fuck me in the ass with a sickle
yes yea
WOO
yeaaaaa
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11. |
scoob
01:48
|
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i wanna find a heck of a lotta
scooby doo VHS tapes at a thrift store
n build a fort
i wanna live in the fort with you
we'll spend all our time
all our time
watchin scooby doo
i'll braid your hair and make you curry
o darlin'
don't you worry
about a thing
cause the mystery mobile
that's what its called right, um,
the mystery mobile is on its way
to your heart
to your heart
i'm gonna ride the mystery mobile
right into your heart
you can be daphne-- no wait i'm daphne
you'll be velma
it's some good shit and honestly they were probably lesbians from the beginning
i wanna pick up on those cues
and be like sour when she watches the muppets christmas and like
nitpick all the details of the script and be like
hey
that's a pop culture reference
god bless you scooby doo writers
what a funny joke
ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha
such a funny fuckin joke
i wanna spend all of my time with you
watchin' scooby doo
but not scrappy doo
fuck scrappy doo
scrappy doo sucks
scrappy doo's the worst
i hate scrappy doo
but i love you so it's all good
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