We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

bad art

by dyke on ice

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

     

1.
sugar mom 01:22
ooo sugar mom where are you what kind of car do you drive i gotta roll up to class in a buick or a cadillac, nothing less i dont actually know car names as long as you have nice upholstery i'll be happy oh my sugar mom ooo sugar mom can we go get some breakfast maybe a pancake at some place slightly classier than ihop cause my sugar mom has standards slightly above the rest of the public and thats why i love her ooo sugar mom your name's probably KAREN or JANE or JANIE or JANINE maybe even JANICE but sugar mom i can't plan it im gonna meet you someday and it'll just be fate and you'll fuck me in the ass
2.
theater boy 01:49
theater boy theater boy i'm more jealous of you than i should be theater boy with good hair you know that thing where you see a cute boy on tv and you don't know if you wanna be him or if you wanna fuck him that's how i feel about you theater boy i want your life and you dotted button up shirt but i dont wanna deal with all the money that your family has and all the weirdly conservative southeast asian uncles that come with it oh theater boy thank you for giving me a sense of gratitude about female community cause maybe i wanna have a slender body like yours n wear a hat like yours and look like bambam the way that you do but ! theater boy !! you're a little bitch actually you're better as an idea than as a manifestation and theater boy i'm so glad i'm not you, oh i'm glad i can scream and i'm glad about the clitoris not specifically my own, i mean like yeah, but just the clitoris in general theater boy i'm so glad that i can look at a tit and be like hey that's a good tit
3.
i have a macbook laptop i wear a different scarf every day i wear the same coverse shoes on my weird german feet and i want to tell you that i don't really know if there's a word for this in english or if it's wanna be in my life cause i have a macbook laptop i vote democrat for more polite imperialism in the world because that's what my friends do it's what my friends do i'm obviously so talented because i go to art school am i right ladies oh i'm some little skinny white boy who gets in relationships with his older brother's friends that love to smoke joints too obviously that's not even good weed you're just showing off and i don't wanna be this way i don't wanna be 28 and halfway bald and not have a job and be layin in a pile of my own goddamn stink i don't wanna have a macbook i mean like yeah i actually totally wanna have a macbook but like the principle of being proud of my macbook and making it into an identity is really weird i just wanna play solitaire that's really about it i just want to look at the web on any device not necessarily a macbook
4.
i live on a hippie beach my name is queenie or maybe polly and all i wanna do is smoke all i wanna do is smoke and read some poems that i found in a library book in a shaky-penned handwriting i know it's not really anything that good but the story behind it makes it better better than it should i'm walkin down the street in platform shoes i got a beach gramma look and i'm a vegan too cause i live on the hippie beach where all of the hippies be, and oh i've never actually been to the ocean i just like to take pictures of it and i don't like kale that much that's my confession to (burp) you i don't wanna be alone for the rest of my life but it's lookin that way right now so let's just assume that'll be it for the rest of my life o yeah everybody knows that if you feel this way one second of your life you'll feel that way for the rest of your life fuck you polly fuck you hippie beach fuck you queenie you fuckin suck i hate myself fuck you you're the worst you are the worst you are the absolute worst
5.
you are a girl with big brown eyes this is just a fact i shouldn't be gettin off on but i am cause they're so pretty they're like big ol frying pans ooo aa oo here comes, uh, that's, uh, louis?? louis the dog i trust you will you let me talk hours about this girl with the big brown eyes (not unlike yours lil buddy !!) i can feel your skull i can feel your lil dog skull i can feel my skull if i try hard enough here comes a dog oh oh oh this is shit shitty music make more shitty art with your friends make more shitty art make more shitty are with your friends aaa oo this is the only way to affirm my identity as an american youth all i do is sit around and feel sorry for myself here comes a dog (dog jumping sound) no!!!!
6.
ooo i love sluts they are good people helpin' out the world in their adidas tracksuits i love sluts they are good people lookin at you tellin you your eyelashes look good when you're havin' a bad day i love sluts they are good people betterin' the world in their adidas tracksuits a three-stripe shawty has been better to me than any religious lady at my parish with a saggy chestnut face and i love sluts they're good people ooooo lemme look at my book for some more words about sluts i just know there are girls in bar bathrooms around the world helpin other girls i love the way that women help women i love sluts i love sluts helping sluts i love sluts fucking sluts and sluts giving sluts money and making sluts dinner for other sluts inviting sluts to their houses i love sluts i love sluts they're good people bettering the world in their adidas tracksuits (dog barks in agreement) YEAH!!!!!!!
7.
uncle jeff 02:14
fuck you uncle jeff & your overly short haircut are you worried that if your hair gets longer than an inch they'll call you gay fuck you uncle jeff you raise your kids in a really really overbearing masculine way fuck you uncle jeff tryna play flag football with me i was only like three c'mon shut the fuck already we get the point you're a man fuck you uncle jeff tell me more about how taxes are ruining your um pittsburgh steeler fan life fuck off uncle jeff with your facebook posts about not raising minimum wage i don't really come on facebook to see this i just came out to have a good time and look at pictures of dogs fuck you uncle jeff i don't really need your approval it's taken me a long time to realize that you can be apart from your family and still live a successfull happy life i don't need you in my life uncle jeff uncle jeff you are really insecure about your own identity uncle jeff sometimes i wonder if the reason you're so homophobic is that you're probably gay yourself uncle jeff what happened in college uncle jeff did you suck a dick uncle jeff if you did i hope you enjoyed it i hope it was good and consensual and fun and everyone was sober and uncle jeff i just really think you shouldn't be using that to punish your children don't live your heterosexuality vicariously through your children uncle jeff just go to church or whatever it is you people do i don't know it's not my problem i'm signing off from you forever goodbye see you uncle jeff bye later bye
8.
your mcm 02:00
i will occasionaly make eye contact with girls on public transit the girls will be cute and have curly hair the girls will be doin stuff like lookin at anime on their phones or whatever and i'll be like hey nice or maybe i'll see a girl wearing an exo tshirt y'know, exo like kpop, just if you didn't know that but anyway my point is i bet these girls are straight i bet this from the look of nervousness they get when they see me smilin' a lil cause i look like a big dyke and i don't wanna scare you off but jesus christ lady jesus christ do you think if a gay looks at you for more than 5 seconds you're gonna turn gay!!! ohh do you think if a gay looks at you for more than 5 seconds you're gonna turn gay!!!! ohh cause that's probably a good thing it's probably true but anyway i feel so bad that you probably go home to a man who thinks you pee out of your vagina i feel so bad you probably go home to a man who can't find your clit even though it's right fuckin there in front of his face stupid idiot stupid fuckin idiot i feel bad for you i feel bad for you there's so much better lives to live but whatever enjoy yourself with your mcm eugh
9.
space babes 02:14
i'm really cool i'm a cool girl from outer space from out of the stars from another planet it's very far away and very green and large very gaseous and whatnot whole lotta atmospheres of pressure and degrees kelvin and all kinds of other scientific things could be measured on my planet but anyway i'm far away from it that's the point of this song i'm travelling thru the milky way i find a little place called earth i land and i see a kpop concert and im like "wow thats a lot of creatures and a whole lot of flesh" i move on i see a river im like "wow that's pretty nice" i move on go to ohio i see this really hot babe and im like "damn she's a hot babe" and i go away i go to new york i see more hot babes all over the place they're walkin down every street crossin' every corner and holy heck there are so many hot babes in the earth on the earth surrounding the earth orbiting the earth i go to mars and theres hot babes i go to saturn and theres hot babes i don't even have to tell you about uranus ha ha like a butthole anyway there's a lot of hot girls in space we're here we're havin a great time and there's a lot of hawaiian punch for anyone who wants it but you don't have to drink it, it's not like, there's no pressure there's a lot of hot babes in space with me and join me in space with the hot babes see you in the hot babe space in a hot tub floatin' in space yea !!
10.
almond soap 02:42
ohhh my god i bought very cool 8 dollar soap at the store and it was vegan and all that kinda shit and it smelled like an almond y'know, like chinese almond cookies chinese almond tea etc. um i don't really use it a lot i just kinda think it looks cool it's got almonds suspended in it suspended in time wish i could be suspended in time just sitting here in shorts when it feels good to wear shorts not too cold and not too hot and i feel like i like my life and i'm goin a place i don't really know the place but i feel good about it and i've got a boy on the internet who will send me a pic of his buttcrack if i ask nicely it's a nice relationship it's a nice moment in time i wanna stay there suspended, smelling almonds all my life like settling down only like gayer and i don't wanna go to the army i don't want americana in my butthole i guess i'll get it anyway at some point i know that i'll probably settle down i'll be like my mom who was spirited in college who smoked weed in college and partied in college but i'll calm the hell down show everbody just how fake i am and live comfortably as an adult who votes whatever way is most convenient for me easiest for me the proletariat much be in constant revolution this shit nation will only rise in communism only in communism it's the only solution the poorest people must be in constant revolution in order for democracy to be true yea yea fuckin yea yea fuck me in the ass with a sickle yes yea WOO yeaaaaa
11.
scoob 01:48
i wanna find a heck of a lotta scooby doo VHS tapes at a thrift store n build a fort i wanna live in the fort with you we'll spend all our time all our time watchin scooby doo i'll braid your hair and make you curry o darlin' don't you worry about a thing cause the mystery mobile that's what its called right, um, the mystery mobile is on its way to your heart to your heart i'm gonna ride the mystery mobile right into your heart you can be daphne-- no wait i'm daphne you'll be velma it's some good shit and honestly they were probably lesbians from the beginning i wanna pick up on those cues and be like sour when she watches the muppets christmas and like nitpick all the details of the script and be like hey that's a pop culture reference god bless you scooby doo writers what a funny joke ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha such a funny fuckin joke i wanna spend all of my time with you watchin' scooby doo but not scrappy doo fuck scrappy doo scrappy doo sucks scrappy doo's the worst i hate scrappy doo but i love you so it's all good

about

eleven songs of cool improvised music wow !! the ukulele + words were both done completely on the fly and we had a lot of fun :~)☆

credits

released December 29, 2015

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

dyke on ice Cincinnati, Ohio

queer and fun! guaranteed

contact / help

Contact dyke on ice

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account

If you like dyke on ice, you may also like: